Agents and Blurbs

So, it's been a busy weekend for me. I spent most of Saturday reading bios for about 50 possible agents who represent YA writers. It was a completely overwhelming process because it just reminds me that so many people out there are trying to do what I'm doing. It's almost like going into a bookstore and seeing rows and rows and rows of paranormal/fantasy/supernatural YA. I wonder to myself "will I fit in here?" or "can I make the team?" or "will I be picked last (if at all)?" Plus, I have to look at agents who represent other things. I won't always write YA. My Es and Moo series isn't YA, so I need to make sure that any agent that I work with also represents adult fiction, chick lit, etc. This is all too overwhelming, which is why I'm taking this whole process one step at a time. I created my agent list yesterday now I'll let that simmer while I start on the fourth edit of "Surrender." This should be the final edit before I start sending letters out. Right now I'm trying to tighten up sentences and reduce the word count.

I also woke up with a possible "hook," which I scribbled down on the pad that I keep by my bed. I've never had much use for this pad, but I was glad to have it 'cause I'm not entirely sure what triggered this idea. I suppose in a way it's not really a hook (I think it's too long). It's probably better to call it a summary or a book jacket blurb (there's a technical name there that I can't remember). Anyway, here it is (with a little tweaking since my early-morning brain likes to think in incomplete sentence):

SURRENDER

"Within a few months of returning to Falls, sixteen-year-old Evelyn Black is “awakened” to a supernatural world where those who know what she will become hold onto a mysterious, and irritating, silence. Left to discover the truth with time, Evelyn’s dysfunctional life tailspins into complete chaos. As her seventeenth birthday approaches, finding normalcy is impossible. Her body starts to change and her best friend’s mom tries to kill her. Evelyn has never felt more alone in her life, but she has friends from very high and dangerously low places. Friends who guide and protect her, ignoring the consequences of their actions, and remain at her side when she is reborn and tasked to be a guardian of the Fallen. "

I think it could have strong potential, but like the agent thing I'm going to let it simmer. It's probably a bit stronger than what I've shared in the past (part of a query letter draft). As always, feel free to make suggestions or comments about the blurb/hook.

I'm also not entirely sure if the title still works with the changes that I've made in this last edit. Basically, I still have a lot to do before this thing is ready to be sent out, including making the first 10 pages shine, writing a synopsis (not even sure where to start there!), and finalizing the query letter. I'd love to have a letter out by September 1st, but we'll see. I don't want to rush any more than I already am. So this is where I am at the moment. I should be editing now, but I like to waste a good 45mins-1hour of time messing around on the internet. Procrastination is my friend.

Query, Query, Query

Wowzer... I decided to start a draft of a query letter for "Surrender" today. This is going to be REALLY hard. It's difficult making something sound interesting and fun, you know? I'm using a few sample query letters in the October 2010 issue of "Writer's Digest" as guidelines, but I still don't know if I have something solid. I wish I had an agent friend to read it over for me. At any rate, I just have to hope that it's the best and keep looking for other examples.

So, I'm seeking help (yet again) with my summary. I feel like I need to get it down to 1-3 sentences (as a hook). I know it's hard to help when you haven't read the entire novel, but hopefully you smart readers/writers out there could offer a little bit of help?

First question, if you read the following HOOK, would you be at all interested in the story?:
"Sixteen-year-old Evelyn is a biracial girl who learns that she was created by angels to be a vessel, a weapon for an approaching angelic war."

Or how about this:

"Evelyn has just learned that she was created by angels to be a vessel, a weapon to use in the approaching angelic war. However, she has to first decide which side--angels or demons--she wants to fight for."

Ahhh, please help! I can't believe how difficult this is.

Okay, and here's what I have for the summary for an agent. (I'm worried that it might give away too much of the story, thoughts?)

For the last six years, Evelyn and her father have hopped from state to state, hiding in big cities while running from something or someone from the past. As the last place she felt happy and secure, Evelyn returns to Falls, New Hampshire with her tiny and dysfunctional family. However, if she'd known that she was safer outside town, she wouldn't have moved back. Falls is not what it once was.

As a new student at Stonegrove High School, Evelyn discovers that she may never be a normal, happy girl. Her former best friend has vanished, she's followed by a young man who she is strangely drawn to, and a cute boy's attention is both confusing and exciting. And jsut when she has a handle on her new surroundings, her best friend Lucas Starr and Lillian, his mother, return and Evelyn's world tailspins. Lucas has changed and his mother has taken a peculiar interest in Evelyn.

On her seventeenth birthday, Evelyn dies and is reborn as an angel, a vessel full of life. She barely has time to readjust to her new self when she learns that she was created using the essence of the first Eve, matriarch of all humans, and that Lillian Starr is actually Lilith, Adam's first wife, an outcast of Eden, and mother to all demons. Focused on Lilith's need for revenge, the war above is just barely stirring, and Evelyn is uncertain of where her focus should be. She tries to lean on her friends only to realize that they can't, and shouldn't, interfere. Evelyn is forced to realize that she may always be alone.

I know ya'll are probably sick of these posts, but I'd love to hear a few opinions. This is hard. :(

Side note: I will be publishing the next chapter of "Surrender" (new material that none of my blog followers will have read yet) on FictionPress hopefully by the end of the night.